Amanda Edwards/WireImage/Getty Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore in 2011
Ashton Kutcher is reflecting on the complicated feelings he had surrounding his divorce from Demi Moore.
In a new digital cover interview for Esquire, the 44-year-old Your Place or Mine actor recalls the “failure” he felt following his split from Moore, 60, in 2011, after eight years total together and six of marriage. (The two finalized their divorce in 2013.)
“Nothing makes you feel like a failure like divorce,” Kutcher said. “Divorce feels like a wholesale f—ing failure. You failed at marriage.”
Addressing when their relationship became public in 2003, he told the outlet, “The moment that information broke, my life changed.”
But, Kutcher allowed, “It’s stupid to complain about things that you’re contributing to,” referring to his own involvement in the social-media circus surrounding his and Moore’s romance.
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human-interest stories.
Billy Kidd Ashton Kutcher for Esquire
RELATED: Demi Moore Says She “Blinded” Herself from Her Own Pain After Ashton Kutcher Split: “I Lost Me”
He also remembers being 26 years old and “bearing the responsibility of an 8-year-old, a 10-year-old and a 12-year-old,” referring to Moore’s now-grown-up three daughters: Rumer Willis, Scout Willis and Tallulah Willis.
“That’s how some teen parents must experience their twenties,” Kutcher said.
The Ranch alum, who shares two children with now-wife Mila Kunis, also opened up about the late-term pregnancy loss Moore suffered while they were together before going through even more challenges to try and conceive a child together, including in vitro fertilization.
“Losing a kid that you think you’re going to have, and that close to thinking you’re going to have a kid, is really, really painful,” Kutcher told Esquire. “Everyone deals with that in different ways.”
Billy Kidd Ashton Kutcher on the cover of Esquire
RELATED: Ashton Kutcher Says It’s “All Good” with Ex-Wife Demi Moore — But “We Don’t Hang Out”
“I love kids,” he added. “I wouldn’t have gotten married to a woman that had three kids if I didn’t love kids. The idea of having another kid would have been incredible.”
But “for whatever reason, I had to have that experience,” Kutcher said.
As for his marriage to Kunis, 39, he said, “The thing about Mila that made our relationship accelerate was that I had always admired her. Her talents, her skills, her gifts. But I knew that she didn’t need me. And she knew that I didn’t need her.”
“My wife is so much cooler than me,” Kutcher added.