Rihanna is getting real about the challenges and rewards of being a new mom.
In a new interview with British Vogue, the chart-topping music superstar gave fans a peek inside what life has been like since giving birth to a son last year, and how being a parent has changed, well, everything.
“Oh, my God, it’s legendary,” she said of motherhood. “It’s everything. You really don’t remember life before, that’s the craziest thing ever. You literally try to remember it — and there are photos of my life before — but the feeling, the desires, the things that you enjoy, everything, you just don’t identify with it because you don’t even allow yourself mentally to get that far, because … it doesn’t matter.”
She had her boy, now nine months old and with a name that has yet to be revealed, with partner A$AP Rocky; the two are now expecting their second child, as, following her highly-acclaimed Super Bowl performance on Sunday, Rihanna confirmed that she is once again pregnant.
Still, being a new parent doesn’t come without sacrifices.
“Dressing for pregnancy was such a piece of cake. But dressing in postpartum, what the f*** do you do?” she quipped. The singer’s epic maternity fashion made headlines throughout her pregnancy, but after coming home from the hospital, she said she went from wearing couture to rocking “sweats and hoodies.”
“The weeks after [giving birth], you don’t know what to put on. Everything is too small or too big,” she said. “You kind of just gotta wait it out otherwise you end up buying so many clothes you’re not going to use. Well, unless you get pregnant again.”
Her wardrobe wasn’t the only adjustment, noted the singer, who explained that after having a “beautiful” birthing experience, she and Rocky found themselves back home, alone, adjusting to their “new life.”
“Essentially, from one person I became two. You walk into the hospital as a couple and leave as a family of three. It’s nuts,” she said. “And oh, my gosh, those first days are insane. You don’t sleep. At all. Not even if you wanted to. We came home, cold turkey, had no one. It was just us as parents and our baby. Man, you’re a zombie for the most part.”
“You’re just going through the motions,” she continued, “and even then you’re so paranoid. Because you’re like: they trusted us to come home with this baby? This new life? With us? No doctors, no nurses, we’re just… going home?”
Still, while the family dynamic has “changed a lot,” she said that parenting has brought her “closer” with Rocky.
“We’re best friends with a baby,” she said. “We have to be on the same page, but we’ve always kind of had that in our relationship. Everything changes when you have a baby, but I wouldn’t say it’s done anything but made us closer.”
“Of course,” she added, “raising a young Black man is one of the scariest responsibilities in life,” which has made her reevaluate her priorities. “You’re like, ‘What am I leaving my kids to? This is the planet they’re gonna be living on?’ All of those things really start to hit differently.”
Those concerns are shared by Rocky, who, says Rihanna, has grown very close with their son.
“I’m just sitting on the sidelines when they’re together,” she mused. “I’m literally the girl trying to get into the boys club, waiting for my turn. [The baby] is obsessed with his father. And I’m like, ‘Didn’t I give birth to you? What is going on?’ Their connection is undeniable. The second Rocky makes eye contact with him he is on fire. The whole thing they say about sons and moms, it’s a myth. Sons and fathers is crazy. I realized that the validation that you really need as a boy is from your father.”
The Grammy-winner has been honest in the past about the difficulties of having a work-life balance as a new mom.
During the Apple Music Super Bowl LVII Halftime Show press conference, held four days before the big event, she explained that “balance is almost impossible because no matter how you look at it, work is always something thats going to rob you of time with your child.”
Being a mom has, in turn, made her much more intentional about what she agrees to do with her time.
“That’s the currency now and that’s where it goes,” she said. “The magnitude of how much it weighs. When you make decisions on what you’re going to say yes to, it has to be worth it.”